


I Spent All of the Love I’ve Saved

by Sun_Flower97



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Arguing, Break Up, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_Flower97/pseuds/Sun_Flower97
Summary: “Don’t be a bitch to me because your boyfriend didn’t say what you wanted him to this morning.” She spat.“I tried to be nice about it and I was going to let you talk but you turned me down and so you’re just going to have to listen to me.” She placed her gel pen on the table.Sterek Angst with some good friend Lydia
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	I Spent All of the Love I’ve Saved

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Ah this is my very first posted work on here and I’m dying of excitement. 
> 
> I hope everyone likes it. This is one of my favorite depressing, breakup songs and I had looked for an already written song fic but I didn’t find one so I wrote it. 
> 
> I’ll be putting some information about the fic in the end notes so if you get confused I’d suggest checking those out at the end. 
> 
> Please comment If you know a way that my writing could improve. 
> 
> And enjoy! ☺️

_A broken heart is all that's left_  
_I'm still fixing all the cracks_  
_Lost a couple of pieces when_  
_I carried it, carried it, carried it home_

“I don’t have a problem Stiles!” Derek walked away from his infuriating boyfriend as the slightly shorter teen followed behind him. “Derek! You haven’t even looked at me since I got here..and this is the 3rd time we have fought this month!” Stiles exclaimed as he went to stand in front of a Derek blocking him from going any further.

“This isn’t a fight.”

“Don’t be so fucking coy, this is a fight! And just because you refuse to accept it as so doesn’t change what it is.” Stiles admonished and Derek rolled his eyes attempting to walk around Stiles who just blocked his way once again and Derek growled.

“You cannot stand there and tell me you haven’t noticed that this thing between isn’t the same anymore Derek.” Stiles accused as Derek pushed the boy out of the way.

“This thing? That’s your goddamn problem, you keep acting as if you can fix us as if we are a math problem or something that needs a simple solution..love is complicated Stiles.” Derek spoke as he walked to his bedroom.

When Stiles’ voice caught him off guard.

“Do you still love me?” The words were soft and almost a whisper but he heard them and his back muscles tightened. He could hear Stiles’ heart pumping as his question hung in the air.

“Tell me you love me.” Stiles prompted and Derek kept his back turned.

“Derek?”

“Is this some fucking game to you? I just want you to say you love me! And if you can’t even say that then why are we together?” Stiles yelled at the figure standing before him.

Silence.

Stiles grabbed his book bag up and walked to the loft door.

“Fuck you Derek, Fuck you.”

The loft door slammed shut and Derek stood there looking at the spot where his boyfriend had left.

He then pushed himself from his spot on the floor and walked into his room finally as he sat down on his bed.

_He had to do something, he had to fix this._

_I'm afraid of all I am_  
_My mind feels like a foreign land_  
_Silence ringing inside my head_  
_Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home_

“Who pissed in your Cheerios?” Lydia asked quietly as they both took down notes in AP Chemistry. Stiles just looked at her with a fake smile. “Whatever could you mean dear? This is my natural state.” He sarcastically replied and Lydia rolled her eyes.

“Fine, I’m guessing you went over Derek’s this morning.”

_Check._

“And I’m sure you two fought because it seems all you two have been doing is fighting.”

 _Check_.

“And then when you said something complicated or something he didn’t like, he got all pouty and quiet which made you upset so you left.”

 _And Check_.

“Wow, you’re a real Nancy drew.” He bit back knowing that she wouldn’t respond well to his attitude.

Looking up after highlighting a piece of text, she had a raised eyebrow and her lips were in a straight line.

“Don’t be a bitch to me because your boyfriend didn’t say what you wanted him to this morning.” She spat and Stiles just looked back down knowing she wasn’t going to stop. “I tried to be nice about it and I was going to let you talk but you turned me down and so you’re just going to have to listen to me.” She placed her gel pen on the table.

“I don’t need love advice..after school Derek and I will have a conversation like we always do because we are civilized adults.” Stiles said even though the words felt foreign in his own mouth.

Lydia just looked at him and he sighed deeply before glancing at her and she began.

“Derek is an asshole..don’t say anything.” Stiles huffed but allowed her to keep going. “Derek is an asshole and he’s been acting like a douchebag to you for the past 5 months...I’ve noticed..Allison has noticed even Scott has fucking noticed.” She had a look in her eyes that Stiles had never seen before. “You have been fighting and you will continue to fight because you expect him to treat you like you should be treated and when he doesn’t you react in a way that isn’t always good but him being stunted in emotional growth, you know how to explain when you’re upset or mad and he broods as if he’s getting paid for it.” She picked the pen back up.

“You expect him too much of him and he believes you are okay with the minimum, and this is due to the fact that despite you’ve been pining for one another for almost 2 years..you should have never been together..you were doomed from the start which we both know and I’m sure he knows it too but both of you were so desperate to have each other you didn’t think about the consequences.” She explains and Stiles feels his skin burn from embarrassment.

And despite him knowing that Lydia is 100% correct, his mind supplies only one phrase so he says it.

“But I love him.”

And that’s when Lydia looks him in the eyes.

“I know..that’s why I didn’t say anything in the beginning..you’re my best friend Stiles..so your happiness is important to me and when you first had Derek you were happier than I had ever seen you but now not only are you not happy but he is also miserable and so it’s finally time to call it quits.” She ignores the look that the teacher is giving her as they come closer to one another.

Stiles does too.

They both lean in as Lydia holds his hand.

“You know what you need to do..in spite of how bad you think you’ll feel afterwards..nothing worse can happen than where you are going if you stay together..this game you guys are playing Stiles, has no winners..both of you will lose no matter what.”

Her words leave him feeling hollow.

_I spent all of the love I've saved_  
_We were always a losing game_

Driving to Derek’s loft Stiles couldn’t keep still, his heart was beating immensely fast and his palms were sweating like a thief in an interrogation room.

But he knew that this was the right thing. Everything else had felt so wrong these past few months that this had to be the right thing.

He was exhausted of fighting and arguing. Making up and trying to maintain happiness for the both of them.

Being treated as if he was the bad guy for just wanting love from someone.

He and Derek were truly unhealthy and he had known for a really long time. Only being together for almost 2 years they had only been a good couple the first few months of their relationship.

Fighting bad guys, getting kidnapped, fighting over decisions and leadership, fighting about other people and time spent with one another. While that may have seemed like couple normal fights in most cases he and Derek fought at least once a week nowadays.

Over absolutely nothing.

It usually was bullshit that wasn’t important.

_So that begs the question of why were they fighting if it wasn’t important?_

_Did they like fighting?_

_Was it all they knew how to do?_

Stiles cleared his head as he parked his Jeep and entered the apartment building not noticing that Derek’s car was nowhere to be found.

He pulled the loft door open and was greeted with silence and emptiness.

No one was here and it didn’t look like anyone had ever been there.

“Derek?” He said and it echoed.

“Derek!” His voice bouncing off the walls.

Stiles ran to his bedroom and kicked the door open to find it cleaned out.

By the time he had every door open, his eyes were welling up with tears for the second time that day.

“Derek.” He whispered as he sat on the guard and began crying.

His sobs now replacing the frantic shouting that took place only moments earlier.

Stiles screamed and cried hysterically as he hoped that Derek would walk into the loft holding grocery bags as they hugged and kissed before watching some movie.

But Stiles felt it in his soul that Derek was gone and he might never see him again.

He just screamed harder.

 _How could he do this to me?_ Stiles thought as he laid on the cold bare ground of loft as the sky turned dark.

He had everything planned out, the whole talk..it was perfect and now he didn’t get to have it.

He didn’t even get to have a boyfriend anymore.

His lover.

His Derek.

_His drug._

Was gone.

Stiles felt his heart slow its pace as he closed his eyes on the ground. He couldn’t sleep because his brain was running faster than it ever had before.

But for now.

He could lay here and pretend he still had someone who loved him like Derek said he did.

_Small-town boy in a big arcade_  
_I got addicted to a losing game_

Stiles walked into his home with puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes as he found Scott, Allison and Lydia sitting at his table.

But seeing them, he didn’t want to cry..he wanted to yell at someone and so he did.

“He want there..he wasn’t even fucking there! I drove there feeling like shit. I hoped to God that he would understand we wouldn’t have to fight..but lo and behold I get to the loft and it’s empty like he was never there..like we never had anything! Like we never danced on his floor..like we never made dinner in his kitchen..like we never showered in his bathroom..” Stiles held a hand over his mouth as his sobs came out.

“Like we never made love in that bed.” He wiped his cheeks and his friends just sat there looking at him with pure sadness.

“Like I was never anything..like I was just some stupid teenager that just was so desperate for love he accepted this toxic, ugly, exhausting relationship that should have never happened in the first place...like I..like I was just someone..some random guy that he fucked on the side..and I just wanted him to love me..I begged him to say that he loved me and he wouldn’t do it..why wouldn’t he do it?!” Stiles cried as Lydia quickly hugged him, his knees getting shaky.

They helped him into the living room and by the time they had gotten him to calm down, he was fast sleep on Allison’s lap.

“I can’t believe he did this to him.” Allison stroked his hair softly.

“I can.” Lydia bit back and Allison just looked at her curiously.

“Derek, is bad at feelings..he would have thought that he was doing Stiles a favour by getting out of his life but what he doesn’t know is Stiles needed that talk and without it, without knowing that Derek wasn’t out there somewhere hating him. Stiles won’t recover for a long time.” Lydia explained and Scott rubbed his face.

“I just hope I never see Derek’s smug face again..Stiles almost had a panic attack because of him..because he’s too fucking stupid to learn how to speak to another human being.” Scott looked at his best friend with eyes that Lydia recognized because Stiles shined them at her sometimes.

The eyes of someone who adored and fiercely wanted to protect whoever they them laid upon.

***************************************************

One by one each of them fell asleep, so no one was awake when sheriff Stilinski walked in and noticed them in his living room but he could see Stiles’ tortured face and knew that something had happened with Derek who people had seen leaving town earlier today.

He laid a blanket over the friends and walked up to get some rest knowing that he would be taking off tomorrow to spend the day with his heartbroken son.

****************************************************

Stiles woke up the following morning when his phone vibrated with in his pocket.

He yawned and sat up hoping that he didn’t wake Allison.

Pulling it out he saw that he had a voicemail from an unknown number.

So he walked to the bathroom and opened his Phone and put it to his ear.

“Stiles, I’m sorry..I couldn’t stay there another second..you looked so miserable when we talked that morning..practically begging me to love you..I couldn’t allow you to live tied to someone as heartless and cold as me..so I’m leaving and I won’t be coming back anytime soon..you need to move on..you deserve someone who will tell you they love you without you having to beg..you deserve everything and I can’t give you...I can’t give you anything..but you do have to know before I go..I love you.”

The voicemail ended and Stiles felt his heart sag.

So he looked into the mirror.

His eyes still had little red lines in them and his cheeks still looked slightly stuffed.

_If he loves me, then I can wait._

He clicked save on his phone before walking out of the bathroom with a grim smile on his face.

_Ooh, ooh_  
_All I know, all I know_  
_Loving you is a losing game_

**Author's Note:**

> So in case it wasn’t evident enough in the story, Stiles and Derek have been together for a year almost 2 when things start getting really bad between them. 
> 
> Stiles is still holding onto to the idea of them but in Lydia talks some sense into him. 
> 
> So when goes to his house to dump him, it’s empty and Derek is gone.. Stiles breaks down screaming and crying. 
> 
> Then he goes home and does the same thing before crashing on his couch with his friends. 
> 
> The next morning he gets a voicemail form Derek explaining why he left but Stiles takes it as hope that he and Derek could be together again someday. 
> 
> Pretty much unhealthy relationship is still unhealthy by the end of the fic. And Stiles is still addicted to the losing game that is his and Derek’s love affair. 
> 
> I hope that helped. 👍🏾


End file.
